Marron Glace: Yaoi Superstar
by Luke In Blue
Summary: This one doesn't have a summary. It's that inexplicable.


_Firstly, I wish to have it said that I am admittedly guilty of any and all of what is listed here. It can be seen in my earlier fiction, in my earlier artwork, and in my earlier rants. That was then and this is now. After over two bouncingly happy years in the BH fandom I can safely say that the squealing otaku in me has been sedated and educated, and hit with a hard shot of finicky tastefulness. In other words, that was then, this is now. I fucked up in the past and haven't we all, so don't fucking hold it against me. Thank-you for your time ^_^.  
  
We now return to our regularly scheduled rant._  


  
  


I wrote this in response to rants by Hatsy (BluePard), the Princess of Pain, and Yaeko (Shini no Miko). You could say I've jumped on the ranting bandwagon ^_^ Because Marron is the character most written about by the Bakuretsu Hunter fandom, I have chosen to make him the focus of this piece (although the other characters are brought into it as well). Let it also be known that these are indeed mere opinions, but they do have some basis of common sense at their backs. Flame if you will, but at least be intelligent about it. Hatsy, Princess, Yaeko, this was written for you. Do with this what you will.  
  
Now I'm going to stop sounding like a professional tight-arse. On with the rant!  


  
  
  


**MARRON GLACE: YAOI SUPERSTAR**  


  
  
**_~~~ Marron, the uke_**  
  
Okay people, before I go into this, let me make one thing clear. One thing that a lot of yaoi-fixated Marron-shippers don't seem to get is the fact that  
  
MARRON IS NOT A GIRL WITH A PENIS!!!  
  
There. Now I am happy. Anyway, one thing that I look/hope for in Marron-shipper fiction is a Marron that is not the stereotypical male damsel in distress figure so oft seen in yaoi doujinshi. Unfortunately, this makes the selection quite limited.   
  
Maybe it's his passive personality. Maybe it's his androgynous (although most would say ) appearance. Maybe his white attire brings purity and the archetypal virgin to mind. Well, fanon can be an ugly thing. Yes, Marron is quiet. Yes, he's emotionally closeted (until someone lays a finger on Niisan). Yes, he is a bit of an ice queen (sorry, Hatsy). So where did all of these fragile, blushing, black-haired and breastless Sailor Moons come from?  
  
Just because Marron doesn't seem like the type to take charge', it doesn't mean he's gonna burst into tears at the touch of a feather. A guy can be an uke without being a clone of Miaka. Granted, you have the artistic liscense to push the envelope a bit, but if all we're seeing is a Bakuretsu Hunter-ized soap opera, don't expect glowing praise. At least not from me.  
  
  
  
**_~~~ Marron, the seme_**  
  
Ever heard the expression It's always the quiet ones or still waters run deep? Well, I think either can apply to Marron (or any character that's been declared an all-around bottom by the fan populace). It just takes a bit of effort and creative thinking on your part to bring it out. Admittedly, I fancy Marron as an uke with Gateau and either way with Carrot, but, I also seem to think that underneath that quiet, cold exterior, Marron is a bit of a closet seme' (hence all my snide remarks about the possibility of black leather and d-rings hidden beneath those pristine white robes). Also, you have to admit, that in addition to beauty uncommon for a male, he does have an almost regal air about him. That in mind, I can see him getting uppity in the bed room. Makes for a nifty fic scenario, don't you think? And this might be only my opinion, but no, Marron does not seem like the sadistic seme type... Unless it's a humour fic. That could be... interesting ::evil chuckling::  
  
  
  
**_~~~ Marron the angst-bunny_**  
  
This is possibly the only Marron-ly stereotype that is, for the most part, done reasonably well. Given his unobtrusive nature and over-protective (jealous?) personality with regards to his brother, there is plenty of opportunity for behind-the-scenes angsting. It's when people take it too far and turn it purple with flowery words and soap-opera-ish undertones that the fic induces eyerolling and making a beeline for the button of my browser.   
  
When Marron reaches his breaking point', he is much more likely to erupt and shout than throw his hands in front of his face and quit the room, bawling (see Marron, the uke). Just look at how he reacts to his brother getting hurt in the Crystal Magicians bit. This is where a lot of fanauthors go wrong.   
  
Again, Marron is pretty' (I despise that word), but he is probably the most emotionally stable character in the series. Should that stability be upset, the results are quite explosive, more in the raging bitch on wheels (as Draquonelle says) sense than in the I can't go on! Hold me while I weep! sense.  
  
  
  
**_~~~ Marron the Femme_**  
  
Okay, Marron is my favourite character, and I rather enjoy reading about him getting tossed into various (humiliating) perils, but I do NOT enjoy fics in which Marron is given a sex change sans gentalia reconfiguration and silicone implants. One BIG gaping pit many authors trip go cascading into is falling under the assuption that Marron is... how to put it nicely? .   
  
While Marron is very attractive with his long hair, fine features and lithe build, he is certainly not female in any sense. Granted Carrot looks downright swarthy next to his brother and when compared with Gateau he looks like a frikken princess, the key word here is .   
  
Marron does not bat his eyelashes, screech when angered, or do the whole glomp and squeal routine that the Misus see fit to carry out. So what? Stop comparing him to the girls, that's what! I mean, picture this:   
  
_Carrot was sitting there, minding his own buisness, when Marron appeared with a magazine in his hands and remarked, Oh, that shirt who look so cute on me.'_   
  
I'm getting ridiculing chuckles just thinking about him saying that, all deadpan and cold. He'd sound like a fokking buffoon. It would be pretty funny, but STILL.  
  
Anyhoo, going back to what I was saying about looks, again, it's true, Marron is easily the least masculine-looking of the three male-types in the team, but similarly, look at him next to Milphey. Need I say more?  
  
The point is, Marron is attractive, but his beauty is ANDROGYNOUS. Not feminine. Big word, ne? Lookitup, Brainiac! Oh, and for the love of all that is holy, the words and do NOT belong in the same sentence!  
  
  
**_~~~ Pick a Marron, any Marron_**  
  
Well, this is not as big of an issue, more of a personal pet peeve, but one thing that bugs me is when authors see fit to switch back and forth from Marron's three versions (Marron as he appears in the anime, as he appears in the manga, and as he appears in the OVA). If your fic follows the plot of the manga, Marron's eyes will be BLACK, not gold (not to mention Tira's hair will be red, not pink, and her sister's name will be spelled Chocolat' as opposed to Chocolate'). Now, I can see where the gold-eyed version is favoured by the fandom because it's pretty', but it's still annoying if you can't pick one version and stick to it. Gold-eyed Marron and anime plotline are a package deal. You can't have one without the other. If you want gold-eyed Marron (that also means Milphey will be the more toned-down, aqua-haired Millefeuille' and Chocolate will don the red biker vest as opposed to suspenders) and the anime plotline doesn't fit with your intended fic, TOO BAD. Either find a way to work around it, or switch Marron's eyes to black, if that's not too much of a sacrifice on your creative part. And why should it be? As I was telling an authoress whom I beta-read for...  
  
..._And hey, just because Marron's eyes are black, doesn't mean they're boring! Look at various colour pictures of him from the manga, and you'll see that the colour of his irises are never the same in any two pictures. Sometimes they're grey, sometimes they're brown, sometimes they're blue-ish, sometimes they're a silvery violet, etc. Imagine how pretty those reflective inky pools would look while watching a sunset. I think it would look dern cool if there was a little bit of all those reds, vermillions, yellows and purples of the sunset reflected against the black of his eyes... It might be just me, but I think it would be fun to play up the colours like that. Give it a try, ne?_  
  
  
**_~~~ Marron, the spotlight slut_**  
  
As much as I love Bakuretsu Hunter yaoi, one thing that irks me is how certain characters are cast aside in favour of the boys who are the of the fic. This is especially noticeable in Gateau/Marron slash. Yes, they are the pivotal characters of that kind of fic (duh), but still, it's not really fair to leave the sisters two out of the fun (don't take that the wrong way, please O_o).  
  
Part of the reason why I love BH so much is because it's kooky and kinky, and that is all made possible by those two manic redheads we know and love. If you're a Gateau/Marron fan, why not show us (or me for that matter) that you're willing to put forth an inch more effort by giving one or both of the Misus (or even Milphey for that matter) an active role in your story? Yes, that would be nice ^_^  
  
On a similar note, Carrot is also a mistreated' character in many Gateau/Marron fics. Either he's left out all together, or he's made into a fanged beast that had nothing to do with his zoanthropy. Authors often see fit to demonize Carrot. Well, Carrot's a good guy. He's a little (a little as in A LOT) off-kilter, but he's got a good heart. So what is with you people turning him into the next Hitler? Knock it off already. STOP! In the naaame of (Gateau's and Marron's) love!   
  
  
**_~~~ Marron (and others) in love_**   
  
Presentation: It is what makes or breaks a shipper. If you can paint a totally obscure pairing into believability, you are a champion in your fandom. If you can take a more popular' pairing (i.e. Marron and Gateau) and present us with something fresh or unique that we haven't seen in previous fics, you're a hero to supporters of that pairing. Here is where I stand on the ever-debated BH romance roster:  
  
**Gateau x Marron:** My favourite pairing, and why not? It's canon and it isn't (being one-sided and all), it's strange, and it's quirky. There's also the underlying spirituality which makes the idea of love between these two all the more intriguing (Kaaruman the loyal guardian to his king, Yakusha). It's fun to play up. The problem is, most Gaterron' authors fail to do the aforementioned play up-age in their fics, and what we get is a Bakuretsu-ified episode of Marmalade Boy ::takes a minute to laugh at the reference::. Don't take the easy way out. Give us a taste of the wierd and unusual, the kook and kink I mentioned in the previous paragraph, because, hey, that's what makes BH so much fun.  
  
**Marron x Carrot:** I can definitely see it happening and the idea certainly is cute. The added familiarity that comes with fraternity makes for some very sweet romance fiction. Not to mention Carrot's fabulously unpredictable persona with Marron's polar opposite reversed nature make this a fun pairing to work with. However, the vast majority of BH brother-fics are written in a way that leaves me either or running to pay homage to the Porcelain God. It just... is not done well. Period. Yes, it's a difficult couple to write without sounding like a bad romance novelist, but that's what makes a well-done fanfic all the more impressive. Sadly, the Carrot/Marron fics by Llamajoy and Tenshi are the ONLY ones that I have found enjoyable, let alone readable without my inducing facial green-ness. Pretty much all of the others have sent me running for the hills.  
  
**Gateau x Tira or Chocolat:** Gateau is an interesting character to work with. His character isn't as thoroughly explored as Carrot's, Tira's and Chocolat's are, so that makes him all the more complex and fun to write about. Although pretty much everything points to him being , I just can't see him with a female. It seems to me that there would be a definite lack of chemistry for him in a hetero relationship. He hits on Tira ONCE in the manga, but after that, only has eyes for Marron, so that might have something to do with it. I can see Gateau being attracted to women, but the thought of him having sex with one never fails to make my skin crawl.  
  
**Gateau x Carrot:** As ridiculous as it sounds, I can see Carrot swinging' either way. He has the type of mindset (I refuse to say even if it might be more politically correct) that would lead him to seek love in either way. I've seen it happen. Women are tops on his list of course, but who's to say he won't get someday and discover a side to him he didn't even know he had? In regards to Gateau, well, I certainly can't see it happening, but BluePard's fic Single Serving was quite a sweet read that I highly enjoyed ^_^  
  
**Marron x Tira or Chocolat:** Call me biased, but I just can't see Marron with a woman. It's as plain as that. I can like a select few fanfics of this nature, but I won't be convinced. Then again, Marron just doesn't come across as sexual' in any sense (especially not next to his more permiscuous team-mates). But watching him, the way he interacts with Tira and Chocolat as opposed to Gateau and his brother... Well, as for Chocolat, she seems to prefer a man with a libido to match/exceed her own (hence her endless pursuit of poor Carrot), and like I said before, Marron may be a sex symbol, but he just isn't all that sexual'. A few days with Chocolat would probably end with poor Cho-chan being thrown out the window (if Marron doest throw himself out first) ::laughs at the mental picture::. And well, Marron and Tira would look adorable together, but the chemistry just isn't there.  
  
  
**_~~~ A word about Yaoi in general_**  
  
One great misconception many fanauthors adopt in their work is that a yaoi relationship is, in all essence, a heterosexual relationship with two dicks and no chicks (sorry about that. I couldn't resist -_-;;).  
  
It is also assumed that just because a guy is gay (or Bi), he is very much in touch with his emotions and has no qualms whatsoever about showing them. Nothing could be further from the truth.   
  
While there are exceptions, homosexual relationships, from what I've seen and read, are a whole new ballgame. Yes, gay relationships can be as heartfelt and meaningful as straight ones, but no that does not excuse rewritten romance novels. Guys have different ways of showing their feelings for one another. Some drop hints and seduce though cuddling, others move in for the kill and pounce without warning. Some treat their significant others to candle-lit dinners, some throw food at their mates and then offer to lick it off. Some sing and write poetry to profess their affecions. Some drop their trousers and say I want to make love to you like a thorny bush.  
  
While the yaoi world is greatly diversified, one thing that hardly any fanauthors have nailed is the fact that gay men have just as many emotional hangups as their straight counterparts. Probably even more. Think of it like this; emotional trouble is prevailent enough with one man in the couple. Imagine it with TWO men in the couple.  
  
**_THE BOTTOM LINE..._**  
  
Marron is not a giggly school girl, Marron is not one-sided, Marron is not a crybaby, Marron is not a flaming queen (he's a closet queen, nerks ::childish giggling ensues::), Marron is not multi-faced, Marron is not the ONLY Sorcerer Hunter, and Marron can certainly be paired with people other than Gateau (not that I mind ^_^).  
  
Thank-you and Good-night.


End file.
